Must get in shape for camp.

Have been failing horribly. Granted, I am PMSing, which I figure grants me a little leeway to gorge myself on chocolate and sleep for fourteen hours a day. *sigh* Or not. I hate PMSing, because I am always, ALWAYS hungry! It's so weird. Goddamn.

Anyway, I overdosed at Megatunes, buying eight CDs, then going to work and buying another one. Nine CDs, in one day. My soul weeps + apoplexys in joy.

CDs are:

A Weekend in the City - Bloc Party <- I am listening to it right now, and it is AMAZING! SO WONDERFUL! I listened to 30 seconds of the first two songs, and was like, 'I need to own this album'.

Neon Bible - The Arcade Fire <- So stoked to listen to this record.

Live at the Mecca Café Vol. 2 - The Co-Dependants <- Really, it's about time I had a Co-Dependants album.

Radiodread - The Easy Star All-Stars <- Love. So. Much.

Self-Titled - Be Your Own Pet <- I can't believe they have an album out already! Woo!

Antics - Interpol <- I've spent enough of my life without properly dosing myself with Interpol. Von can understand this.

Illegal Tender - Louis XIV <- They didn't have the LP, so I got the EP instead. How i adore Louis.

Add It Up - Violent Femmes <- I heard this on the drive to Canmore with Katers and Tawny, and I've had 'Blisters in the Sun' stuck in my head ever since.

Has a Good Home - Final Fantasy <- I need Final Fantasy like I need heroin. With an intense chemical dependancy.


Mmmm, listening to Neon Bible. Mmmmmmmmmmmm....... mmm

I also got a great sweater from Divine that would also be suitable if I were attending a party dressed as a Nepalese elf. I love it.

But this is the end of my hefty and frivolous spending. From now on, I am on the straight and narrow. I will be prepared for camp, and shame neither myself nor my family. I am setting aside my natural and extreme aversion to the gym, because it has a cross-trainer, and there is no longer enough snow for x-country skiing. I will eat less, and healthier. I will become more self-disciplined.

THIS IS MY DECREE, HEAR ALL YE DOUBTERS:

I WILL BE A HARD-WORKING HOTTY WITH A BODY COME JUNE!


Also, sometimes my amazing taste in music shocks even me. Man, I am so good.

Currently molesting: Intervention - The Arcade Fire

Currently devouring: Man and His Symbols - Carl Gustav Jung

Currently pondering: I was in Steeps, and the At The Drive-In cover of 'This Night Has Opened My Eyes' came on, which was my hangover theme song. Then Eriatarka by the Mars Volta played. I was glorioused.

Current Location: Ninaveh
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: A Boat to Row - Band of Horses, on repeat.

I make one decision for myself in my whole life with regards to my future. One decision where I do it for me, not with my parents manipulating me, or my Izzy manipulating me, or even my friends manipulating me. I think this decision through, basing it on things that need healing, things I have never told anyone. I start to feel better than I have in months, with this plan I have made for myself. I feel more secure, more ready to face my future, more confident. I shouldn't put so much stock in my own ideas, I guess, when it's other people who have made my plans for me.

It wasn't even as if my parents shot down my idea. They just totally obliterated it. I can barely even stand to be in the house now. When I am here, I spend most of my time in my room. Usually I'm out. If I can't/don't want to find anyone to hang with, I wander aimlessly around the city, taking myself to movies, spending hours in music stores. I am kind of checking out. Why maintain this illusion of control? Why bother with anything? I'll just get set up in whatever way the ruling party decides anyway. There's no point in saving money; there's no point in going to McGill; there's no point in going to work, except that it keeps me occupied and away from my family.

I don't know. I am so tired. I look at this goddamned wasted year and imagine the wasted one coming. And then the next one. I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my time anymore. I want there to be more to it than work and school and booze and work and school. But apparently that's what I'm getting.

Currently molesting: De Facto. Found Megaton Shotblast at HMV randomly. Was so pleased. Really want How Do You Dub? You Fight For Dub. You Plug Dub In.

Currently weighing: The pros and cons of getting a really nice little acoustic guitar. Or a banjo. I love the banjo.

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Cicatriz ESP - The Mars Volta

On the onehand.... free beer.


But on the other hand, dude, free beer.






So much fucking beer.

Also, he called me 'Sweetie'. I was like, 'Wah?;, but I think I played it cool pretty well. Oh my God, 'Sweeite'. zHow cute us tahat/? I am swooning a little bit.


Plus, he was definitly listening a little bit wen I toalg that Danny guy I wanted to double major in Englisha and Theology. Am I making too much of thisd? Of well/ Mn he is ridicuoujsly handomse. Fuck. Stupid handsome. He doesn;t have a fgirlfriend though. Point in my faviour. Go me!]


Shit.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: J FRU

Yeah! Managed to bith get rnunk and avoid awakwrda situatiojns later with random boys just met. Also, noty editing. Editing is for ;lameos/

YEAH~ Brandon was all adorable, and I didn't make out with the guy who drove me home. Yeah me,. progifrogress is made. Man, I shouldn;t haber had so much to druink. zBut I was all, well reallu, he's so cute and adorabe and really, very handsome. Shit. rthere were so many TVs in tyhere. I couldnt even believ it. Gis bname was Danny. mAN, he lived in Kueait fo like, agesand he was tekking that it was hardf t be whote in Kueaite,. I hope ZVin doesn;t get that kind of shit when she goes to Knya.. Wooooo, staff party. An i wore my new 'I hate the Secrtet' shirt, and everyone loved it, of course. Ha.

dammit, I was sad Brandon had to leave so early,, It sucked. He was all, I need to leave, and I was all 'Yo, your pparents just left, that blows,', excpet I didnt thinjk of it at the time, so that sucked too. I shouldver been , yo, some to my house. that wouldve been awesome.

Aso, Aretha ru;lees.

I drank waty too much dor a sraff fuction. My sus's all, ' Molly, shut up/'

N way, I am enjoying my foray into drubnk glory.

J'm preyyi sure this'lkl be embarssing tomorrow. Ah well.

Woot. I'm tryin to fiond someyhing that'll focs my arttn. again, but no luck so far. Man, Schanks is huge, Masaive yto the [oint if ridicuolousness.

Man, he was so cute. In his little hat and he was so stoked about some NBA alls tar thing. mna, I wanted to kiss him oncve. just to see ehat it felt like. And my brain us all, you, sont think about that shit, and Im all, '''savpur, savour''. Mmmmm, i wosh I had, evwn if the only thinkg I would accomplsh would be to feel uilty for ages. I just want to feel what it felt like.

Make sense? Sorry Von, doubtfel. Also, lots of beer.

Mn.

Mmmmmmmm...


Yay beer. I like beer. Causally drunk, mais, ne pas trop drhnj piru se faire les bonnes decisions. Hurray. Comforatble with self now. Even if drubj. Bad fday ends in 'dint make out with random + cute Brandon + glrorsiouslty dfffeeeling bwertter a cause de sweet, sweet GreASSHOPER. Huraay.





Stupid boys, be9ng so ireesista ble. I cant rtell f he likes me, ot if he knows I like hime (somehwart, up to the poijt that Pete zReid, hahhh!~( so he;s leading me on, because he totally hit on thaisd waiuress and I was all, yo, ehat? But played it c00l, and my sis totally knows how wasted I am,. Stupid wasted. Stupid waitress, and he was all, ' see how I put the moves on thatr waitereess, sandf I was all, 'SUbltes, little bhiy, UI;m sure she couldn;t pick it up.'


Fuck. ]]


Man, gettibg tured os being drunk now. Wish I had issde B. Even if ZI wouldn;tver regretted it in the morn. Ah well. I guess it was a lame party. evne though I got to fuckng pop a cork int he staff romm and who knows wherer the jell is tis. I donm, Tannis doesnt/ Pff. and Mercin was all, yo, Whsat the zFuvk?> secretly, yjouhgh. He was professional, bit I knew wjat was going on. zyerat.


Man, and Glezel called hui m B, abnd I wals all, I know who that is., Nd he got all defensive that I would miss G so much. hurray! defensveness ruyles. Amd I drank his beer and someone elses' beer and i didnt pay for it. Go me.

Woag, even readint things on thw internet is making me a little ill; more writing.

Curerent;uy Molestying: John frusciantrwe. gain. Msan, I love him. so drguued, so creative.

yay midnighty. Dammit, I shouidnve made a mofe of Brandon. Would've been way smarter then just make csudslt conversation as I got drubker and drubker then before I got just drnk eniough he left. DAMN! And he had been there since 6pm/ and Im shwSARWED aferer a cuple (or many) pints. Aty lest iz dont have to work until Tues, So me.!~!!

Shouldv;ew fone: Bye Bradon **kiss! * *more kisses& 'Ull regeret this in the morn' *more kisses( man, he us good lokking, Oww, Molly. Way to waste an awesome chance to get laid. As usual. *sigh*,


ah well, diednt continue on with Glezel and friends ot ra dom oplaces and prtydom. Wnrt hoje and am writing shit instraf. *plhew.(


This will not make sense tomorrow.

So cute, so cute, resisiting the semmingly eranfonovom urge to kidd goodbue. DAMn!


ay Drhunk! Blutomg put whatever I want without consequenve! Slightly dizzy! Huzzah!

My sis put so much poweder and makeuo and shit on mu face. I just wanted wash it off all night, but I couldnt and then I wa sa,l insecrue, dambn,




YESAH, drunk.

Fuck all conventuon, zi sm drunk and iz am writing sboiut it. Screw y ou.
zit must be awkward partying with your prentd. zeriously. man, I dont know wju he left wije n he did. Ecpet for, 'holy shit, I wp0unt beable to drive id ZI am this drun'

Stupid liquor. making brian a complcatedf plave. Bleh.

Damn, but he is goodlooking. Fuck. I couldnve mak,e the 'I was too drunk, t oremmeber' esxcyse.' And tota;;ly remmebred. Oh well/.

Dear Molly, yiu are too drunk Go tobed. Love, Molly.

Current Location: The Land of Drunk.
Current Mood: schwasted
Current Music: JOHN FUCKING FRUSCIANTE!

I had the worst day ever at work. Assholes. If Monday is the same, I am quitting. I'm sick of this bullshit.

But I am going to Mountain Haven tomorrow, so they can all 'sous mes boules', as Siobhan would say. And I will likely have plenty of delicious gossip for her by the end of the weekend.

Saw Katelyn and Karen today and supplemented the shittyness of my work with the gloriousness of dancing at the HiFi.

Also, being as I am tired of being chubby, I am taking up running! In the mornings, before work. Gah, sweet fitness, I crave thee.


C'est toute.

I had the worst day ever at work. Assholes. If Monday is the same, I am quitting. I'm sick of this bullshit.

But I am going to Mountain Haven tomorrow, so they can all 'sous mes boules', as Siobhan would say. And I will likely have plenty of delicious gossip for her by the end of the weekend.

Saw Katelyn and Karen today and supplemented the shittyness of my work with the gloriousness of dancing at the HiFi.

Also, being as I am tired of being chubby, I am taking up running! In the mornings, before work. Gah, sweet fitness, I crave thee.


C'est toute.

Current Location: thundercloud
Current Mood: cranky

Upon calculating hours worked this week vs. time off, the results weighed in at 70+ hours, and 1 afternoon respectively. As an added bonus, I have now had two nights in a row where I have slept 8 or more hours. Man, there's nothing like waking up at 4:30am and realizing you don't have to get up for another three and a half hours.

No more cyclecounting for me!!!

So I called in sick for work Saturday so I could go out and work at camp. Yep, that's how I roll. The only information I was sent were the dates and the name: YMCA LIT CON., which I took to mean Literacy Conference. So I get there expecting a bunch of 50-something Y admin honchos having round-table meetings on early childhood development. Turns out that LIT is actually an acronym for 'Leaders In Training', so it's a bunch of self-important 13-15 year olds 'roughin' it' for the weekend. They actually weren't all that bad. But teen girls, honestly. C'mon. How could there be a biological imperative to being so ridiculous?

Basically I did some belaying, went on a 'hike' up to the Old Mill, which was cool because I'd never been there before, and sat with Katers for two and a half hours in the night talking about Life, the Universe and Everything, which was wonderful. It was a great weekend, made only slightly awkward by the fact that it was more or less the Faloons, Tawny, Katers, Cam and I. Tawny and Katers are both dating a Faloon, and I had a bit of thing for Cam back in the day when I was 16, and Katers took the opportunity to mention it every so often. So it was like I was a 5th wheel, except then Cam was randomly there, which was weird because he was all Kan Section Director last year and shit. I dont know.

Then by the end we all somehow go to joking about Murray not remembering ACNO (even I remember ACNO, seriously how much does that man drink?), running from Beaufort to Hector naked, and Cam modelling leather biking chaps. Then we all had KoolAid Jammers, and no one understood/acknowledged my JonesTown reference. Alas, a good joke fallen on deaf ears.

All in all, it was a good weekend. Especially since I got a hundred bucks for it, woo! Who knows what wild and crazy adventures I could have with that burning a hole in my pocket? I think I may start a CampBooze Money Jar to fund my summer drinking habits (because, who am I kidding, this whole prohibition thing won't last two months of counselling). I could have well over 700$ if I start saving just what I will be earning on the weekends. *stroking beard thoughtfully*

Also, latest life plan: Work Summer and Fall 2007. Start U of C Winter Sem.08. Work Spring and Summer 08.

Currently Molesting: Equal parts H-Core Solitaire and imagined prosperity.

Still not thinking about: Drifter.

Current Location: See: Little Nemo
Current Mood: sleepy

Here's how I roll, Friday to Sunday:

Having nothing to do from the time I get off work to the time I am supposed to meet Siobhan, I take myself to see a movie (later, I am complimented by Alicia on not being one of those people who are scared to go to movies by themselves. Pat self on back.): Pan's Labyrith, which ends up equalling the scariest thing in the world. The step-dad/psychopathic fascist captain beats an innocent dude to death with the blunt end of a glass bottle! And the freaky-ass thing with the eyes in its hands that eats the fairies!? Gah!!! Scary as hell.


I also bought Fru's first solo album, 'Niandra LaDes and Usually Just a T-Shirt', which is awesome, and is home to the infamous track 'Pussy Glued to a Building on Fire'. Love it. Heroin-induced creativity is the best kind of creativity, even if it leaves you with permenante surface-abcesses and a debilitating lisp.

Anyway, after meeting with sweet Von and preparing for our excellant evening out (chaperoned by Derek, Wartime-player in excess), we head to Chinook, only to remember that we are actually seeing the movie at the Colliseum, and need to pre-buy the tickets. So after much swearing and beat of the dashboard, we eventually make it down there, and decide to go to Eastside Mario's, which was of diaspointing quality, but entertaining.

After dinner, Von and I head back to her house to pick up Derek, who drives us over to the mové. Smokin' Aces, which was 100% awesome! It was hilarious! I more or less couldn't stop laughing, except when it was exceedingly violent, which was a little shocking. I also get the feeling that Derek thinks I am a super violent person, because he kept telling me about gruesome scenes in obscure European movies.

Work Saturday sucked. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. On the bright side, it was Family Literacy Day, so we all got an extra 15 minute break to read. I grabbed 'Jesus' Son', which is a book of short stories by Denis Johnson. SO GOOD! The title is derived from the lyrics of Leonard Cohen's 'Heroin', and it's all from the bleakly strung-out perspectives of addicts. Fantastic.

Then I got the hell out of town and went to Camp! Glorious, glorious Camp! I came in near the end of the video on domestic abuse, which was very, very poorly acted- though the testaments of the victims themselves were fairly hard to watch. I sat near Olivier, and had to stop myself from just kissing him all over his Viking-bearded face I was so happy to see him. He was my only blood-brother there, alas. The Italian Stallion was definitely there as well, and he got a new Washburn acoustic with a built-in tuner that he likes so much! I lay across his back and grasped his head in what he called 'the most awkward hug ever' in order to properly greet him. I gave him my brother's message ('We are star-crossed lovers... like in the play'), and he let me know that he intended to backhand Jake every day, which is a term of endearment.

We jammed, but not in a significant way, as the IS is a very, very most certainly beginner, and has not the confidence. I taught him a few riffs, and how to do harmonics though, so it wasn't a wasted evening. Isaac was there as well, so we were able to be pleasently astonished all night by his hardcore metal riffs via acoustic guitar: always fun. Then Big Nick, the IS, Alicia and I went for an adventure across Hector Field to Eagle Lodge, where, upon discovering that the IS is afraid of the dark, we killed the lights and shut him in. Granted, he almost broke the door and crushed us, but it was very funny, nonetheless. We took the opportunity to rename Hector Field 'Deershit Field', because, holy Jesus, every deer in the country must come there to take a dump. We were practically wading through the stuff. Which was ok for me, because we had dressed up as gangstas/hoodlums before going exploring, so I was wearing the IS' quadruple-X large 'ghetto snowpants'.

Since we were having a Hector Lodge sleepover, there was also a big pile of mattresses in one corner, so we (of course) dragged them out and started taking flying leaps into them. So fun.

If there was one downer, it was that JV was there. And it was in all ways very, very, very awkward. I was planning to play it all cool and nonchalant, but I kept getting all these flashbacks, so I was like 'Oh No! If I look at him, I will blush and hecantseemeblushingohjesusgod!' Yeah, and it didn't help that he was at certan points trying to catch my eye (he definitely knew what I was about, la), and that he was stalking around by himself and pacing like a wolf, because (except for when he's drunk, apparently) he tends towards introversion. Aak. And then this morning when he woke up across from me he was all shirtless and touseled and sleeping-bagged and the first thought that went through my (extrodinarily mutinous) brain was 'I could have woken up skin-to-skin with that . Damn!' In reply to which I immediately averted my eyes (and I think really, really obviously started looking with great interest at the wall), blushed, and started mentally berating my weakness. I was mostly in control however, by the time we got down to do belay tests (which was good, because he was instructing us). But that could've also been the cold, and the annoyance that there were 15 of us taking the test and one rope. Especially since I've had belay certification since I was 12 and we had to do both the GriGri and the ATC. Lame-ola! It was my sixth belay test- I think I know how to do it by now, goddamn! The IS and I spent the whole time headbutting one another with our climbing helmets, and I jumped on him while he was lowering Isaac and JV wasn't looking ("I'LL BE YOUR ANCHOR!!!"). Dangerous, yet extremely hilarious.

On the bright side, I think the Scot has either: taken a shine to me, or finally acheived long-term recognition in regards to me after my various greetings at the Ship and Anchor- he was pleasent and talkative to me, and treated me less like someone who he didn't care to know, and more like someone that he knew! Huzzah! Progress in the ScottishHotty department! Although it may have been because I mentioned that I eat tuna and hot chocolate almost every day for breakfast in order to provide myself with the protein and sugar I need to function at 4:30am every morning that made him take enough interest in the coversation to add to it. But his body language was also less hostile/indifferent, so I am going to assume it wasn't just the tuna!

I also got to talk to the Godfather about iceclimbing, which was cool because he's about 68 years old. He also complimented me on my way with babies during reflections (hurray for public compliments!), which made me both happy and want to scream out something about how, up until recently, I just wanted to eat them. But I managed to contain myself, which in retrospect was probably wise.

I hooked up with Olivier and Alicia for a ride home, and we went to Chief Chiniki for lunch, where the most annoying French kids ever to curse Earth with their presence sat behind us ("Je ne veux pas! Veux pas! Veux pas! VEUX PAS!!!"). I spent the whole time wanting to scream 'TAIS-TOI!!!', but resisted. I got to eat delicious bannock though, so that made everything well.

Everyone is very excited for the first Mountain Haven of '07, which is only two weeks away! And, as he rolls that way, Olivier offered to give Jake and I a ride!

I came home grinning like an idiot and danced like a madman for an hour, I was so happy. Being away from camp for so long made me more than a little unbalanced and unhinged. I feel better in all ways.

Currently Molesting: Tokyo Police Club- should I go to Coachella?! Supposedly RAtM is reuniting for it this year!!! But it's so much money! AGH!

Currently Deliberately-Not-Thinking-About: Drifter wasn't there. And Walker Daughter #2 is counselling LDII this year. And he's not doing Sac Dene either... Is he coming back to camp this year...? But I'm not thinking about it.

Current Location: Euphoriatopia
Current Mood: balanced and hinged
Current Music: Nature of the Experiment - Tokyo Police Club

thank you for the sweet livejournal. Now I too will have the chance to bitch about my day, and to more fully appreciate the bitchiness of your own. Huzzah.

Currently Molesting: John Frusciante, whom I will refer to from now on as 'FruFru', or perhaps just 'Fru'.

Currently Anticipating: seeing and jamming with my Italian Stallion at Mountain Haven this weekend.

And if tomorrow isn't better than today was, I will be thoroughly displeased, and will exact proper revenge upon JV, who, though he doesn't deserve (or realize) it, has become the grail into which I will henceforth pour all of my rage and vindictiveness.

Current Location: In my new UN bomber jacket. Value Village, I love you.
Current Mood: headache
Current Music: Anne - Fru